self-knowledge and healthy relationship

Why befriending your anger may be more helpful than 'managing' it

Many of us have been negatively affected by people close to us, who may have difficulty managing their anger. We may also have had our own struggles with how to keep control of our own anger, and found it hard to come to terms with the knowledge that this may push our loved ones away. Of course, expressing anger by being aggressive or even violent is NOT OK. It's important we are able to make decisions NOT to express our distress in a way that may make others feel intimidated or even scared. However, like all emotions, anger is a very important emotion.

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Mindsight - the benefits of mindfulness practise for relationships

What is mindsight? In the words of the author, Dr. Daniel Siegel, a renowned psychiatrist and teacher, it is a kind of focused attention that allows us to see the internal workings of our minds…without being swept away by them.” Mindsight is essentially Siegel’s term for mindfulness meditation.


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Passionate Marriage - a book review

After a few years of marriage, sex becomes routine, right? Most of us resignedly trade the passion of courtship for the predictable humdrum of parenthood, work, and weekends spent trying to catch up on sleep and housework. Proposed solutions to this problem abound. Talk show experts suggest a week at an island resort, or a skimpy outfit from Victoria's Secret, while therapists prescribe sensate focus and communication exercises.

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What makes change so hard in intimate relationships?

Many of us are in situations where we know change is needed in our relationship - either I need to change, and/or I feel my partner needs to change.

We may have tried all sorts of ways to make changes - perhaps even managed to achieve change for a while, before things fell back to how they used to be. Very discouraging!

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Who's the expert on your relationship?

Who are the experts on your relationship? Counsellors? Family therapists? Doctors? Psychologists? Newspaper columnists? Self-help book and blog writers???

All these professionals have expertise to offer that may or may not benefit your relationship, if you feel that you are needing help. But the fact is - no matter how skilled, no professional can possibly have as much knowledge about you, your partner or your relationship as you do. YOU are the experts.

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