Family feuds: when and how do we reconnect?

It's tragic when family relationships break down, even more so when the reasons may not be known or well understood. We may have family stories about a conflict or dispute that has resulted in huge divides within an extended family group - participants positioning themselves based on loyalty, principle or simply as the result of giving in to pressure from others.  Often when couples or families come for counselling, a wider family feud may be contributing in hidden and confusing ways to difficulties that they are experiencing.

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'Being' vs 'doing' in relationships - how do we get the balance right?

We all know how it feels in the early days of a new relationship - everything's great, the excitement of getting to know each other. It comes naturally to enter into a 'being' state - where it just seems to work without entering into a conscious state of effortful 'doing'. The popular wisdom out there is that longer-term relationships require work - after the initial honeymoon period wears off, the work begins. We're now 'doing' relationship, rather than simply 'being' in relationship.

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