What is it about me..... what questions do you ask when your relationship needs aren't being met?

If you are someone who has had a succession of relationships that failed to meet your needs, you may have started to ask yourself - what it is about me, that I seem to attract a certain type of man/woman? If you are asking this question at the moment, it may be that you are in an unfulfilling relationship right now. You might have tried unsuccessfully to talk to your partner about what you need. You might have even persuaded your partner to come to counselling, in the hope that s/he will make the changes you long for.

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Creating non-violent relationships: is assertiveness the key?

It's sad but true, people who grow up in families where there has been violence are more likely to repeat the cycle of abuse in their own relationships. Often a victim of violence will ask the question - what is it about me that attracts abusive, violent partners? Perpetrators of violence will ask - if I don't use violence, how can I get my needs met? What sounds like two vastly different perspectives are, in fact, grounded in the same world-view: - violence is a part of the personality; either I am the type of person who attracts violence, or I'm the type of person who uses violence.

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