Should I stay or should I go?

For those of us who are struggling to make this decision in our intimate relationship, the reasons why may be many and varied.

Sometimes those reasons are clear cut - even though it will be hard to do, deep down I know it's the right thing to do for me. Or the reverse - even though it will be a lot of hard work, deep down I know it will be worthwhile to stay and work things out.

It's a challenge at the best of times to achieve an optimal state of balance - time for yourself, time as a couple, time to complete paid and unpaid work - and if you have kids, time as a family and ideally some 1:1 time between each child and parent. The festive season adds a few more challenges to maintaining a relational balance, the lead-up to Xmas particularly often feeling like a mad scramble to get everything done and honour commitments to catching up socially with friends, colleagues and extended family.

After a few years of marriage, sex becomes routine, right? Most of us resignedly trade the passion of courtship for the predictable humdrum of parenthood, work, and weekends spent trying to catch up on sleep and housework. Proposed solutions to this problem abound. Talk show experts suggest a week at an island resort, or a skimpy outfit from Victoria's Secret, while therapists prescribe sensate focus and communication exercises.

For most of us, the journey toward becoming parents is an exciting one. From making the decision as a couple that it's time, trying to fall pregnant, the elation (and all other sorts of feelings!) associated with being pregnant, to the life-altering experience of bringing a new life into the world and being responsible for caring for a little one.

No matter how eagerly anticipated though, no-one can really prepare us for the huge changes that becoming parents means for our sense of ourselves, and for our relationship with our partner.