should I stay or should I leave my partner?

Should I stay or should I go?

For those of us who are struggling to make this decision in our intimate relationship, the reasons why may be many and varied.

Sometimes those reasons are clear cut - even though it will be hard to do, deep down I know it's the right thing to do for me. Or the reverse - even though it will be a lot of hard work, deep down I know it will be worthwhile to stay and work things out.

Whichever one of these you are sitting with, it may be helpful to consider what your views are about change - your own capacity for change, and that of your partner.

You may ask yourself:-

What stops me asking for what I truly need in this relationship?

What do I believe my partner will do when I let him/her know what I really need?

What stops me from leaving this relationship?

What keeps me in this relationship?

What may I need to change in order to transform the relationship I already have into one that has greater capacity for meeting my needs?

If you have even the smallest amount of hope that you and/or your partner are capable of and willing to make the changes needed to create a more fulfilling relationship, then get ready to work smarter - not harder! Relationship counselling can provide a roadmap for this.

It's worth mentioning, though, that some relationships should NOT be salvaged. This is the case where there is violence or abuse happening, or perhaps where one person is unwilling to make any changes. Change is ALWAYS possible where both partners are honest and willing to focus on changing themselves in relationship, rather than focussing on what the other person needs to change.


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