how do we 'affair-proof' our relationship?

It can be a shock to discover that even the seemingly strongest relationships can be vulnerable to an affair. Many of us think that if we are happy in our relationship, are looking after ourselves and each other, and are making sure we address issues as they come up, then we should never have to worry about infidelity. However, Dr Shirley Glass, author of 'NOT just friends', has a different view. Based on extensive research, she has found that it is not the quality of a relationship that predicts whether someone will have an affair. It is more about the good boundaries we have put around our relationship - things like knowing which line not to cross with an attractive co-worker, resisting the tempation to flirt with an old flame, or avoiding emotional intimacy with someone who is not our partner. To re-work the old saying -  "Good fences make good relationships".  Dr Glass has these tips for couples who are working to rebuild their relationship after an affair. Surround yourself with people who are supportive of your relationship - people who are happily partnered and don't believe in fooling around. Don't create the opportunities for an affair to happen - for example, don't meet alone in an intimate setting with someone you are attracted to. Like it or not - being in love with our partner doesn't prevent us from feeling attracted to someone else. That's OK - even to be expected. It's what we do (or don't do) that matters! Commit to total trust and honesty in your relationship - talk about the difficult things, even if it's upsetting. It'll pay dividends in building a sense of trust and emotional intimacy with one another. Remember - it's better to prevent the affair from ever happening, than to have to repair your relationship after the event. For more information about Dr Glass's work, go to

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