What does our loved one's behaviour tell us about what they need?

Although we may struggle at times when our child is behaving in a way we experience as difficult, more often than not we are able to understand that behaviour as a way our child is communicating to us about their experience, and what they need. For example - my little one is screaming and waving his arms and legs about. I realise he is hungry, and so rather than punishing his behaviour, I make him something to eat. I may also use this as an opportunity to teach my child about the connection between what he is doing and how he is feeling, so I may say "You're so hungry right now!

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Why befriending your anger may be more helpful than 'managing' it

Many of us have been negatively affected by people close to us, who may have difficulty managing their anger. We may also have had our own struggles with how to keep control of our own anger, and found it hard to come to terms with the knowledge that this may push our loved ones away. Of course, expressing anger by being aggressive or even violent is NOT OK. It's important we are able to make decisions NOT to express our distress in a way that may make others feel intimidated or even scared. However, like all emotions, anger is a very important emotion.

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Why is 'emotional intelligence' so important for good connecting?

'Emotional intelligence', or EQ, has been found to be more important than IQ in helping us to do well in life. People with high EQ have better relationships, feel happier, and even do better in their careers and academically. So what is EQ? It is a set of skills that mean we are aware of our emotions, we know why we are feeling that way, we are able to manage how we express those emotions, and if necessary, we are able to work out what may need to be done in response to the feelings we are having about a situation.

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When is it better to separate rather than stay together?

No-one goes into their relationship planning to separate or divorce. We all dream of being able to stay together for the long haul, through good times and bad, hopefully growing together rather than apart through the process. Especially where we have children together, we strive to make it work. So when is it NOT a good idea to stay together?

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