Lying in intimate relationships - what's the harm?

Most of us would say we want our partner to be totally honest with us - that's what builds trust, right?

Finding out that my partner has spent time with someone else behind my back, and perhaps even 'crossed the line' with them into emotional or physical intimacy may be a deal-breaker.

It's important though, without excusing the real hurt that can be caused when someone has been dishonest, or at least withheld the truth about what they are doing, to understand what function lying serves not just the person doing it, but your relationship.

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Loving someone who has survived childhood trauma

It's not easy to be a survivor of childhood trauma. It's also not easy to be in relationship with someone who has experienced severe interpersonal trauma such as sexual or physical abuse from a person or people who, as a child, they relied on for safety and nurturance.

Questions partners often ask are:-

* Why can't s/he just get over it? 

* How do I handle my own feelings of rejection when my partner doesn't want sex, or turns away from my attempts to physically touch her or him?

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