archive

Are 'ghosts from the past' intruding on your intimate relationship?

In the early days, in the heady excitement of a new relationship, we are very conscious of the things that attract us to each other. We'll be aware of qualities like warmth, caring, a sense of shared values, and of course physical attraction!

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Getting to "I'm OK, you're OK" in intimate partner conflict

It's a simple premise - if I can hold in mind that fundamentally you ARE OK, even if I wholeheartedly disagree with the position you've taken on an issue, we should be able to arrive at a point of mutual understanding, if not consensus.

The opposite should also hold true - if I can hold in mind that basically I AM OK, even if you vehemently oppose the position I have adopted about the issue we are in conflict about, then we should be capable of at least 'agreeing to disagree' in a respectful way.

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What beliefs do you have about the process of change, that may hold you back from creating the relationship you want?

Whether we realize it or not, we all have strongly held beliefs about pretty much everything - including what makes change happen. Often couples come to counselling after a long time of at least one partner trying to create change by complaining, yelling, criticizing....

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Breaking up is never easy to do - but how can we do it well for the kids?

It may have taken you a long time already - to get to the point where you (and/or your partner) have decided that it's not longer possible to stay in your relationship. It's time to end things.

But how can we move through a separation well? And where there are children involved, how can we end our relationship in a way that still ensures our kids are in no doubt that their relationships with each of us, and with our extended families, are well and truly intact and will be secure into the future?

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